


just say you love me

by darthswift13



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, In Vino Veritas, Roommates, Sexual Content, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 08:34:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,052
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28722192
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darthswift13/pseuds/darthswift13
Summary: He always waits up for her. Because of the things she tells him when she’s drunk. Things she always forgets the next morning.And it hurts him to know that these are only drunken words that she doesn’t mean, but he can’t stop himself from waiting up to hear them.In which Rey gets drunk on Saturday nights and confesses her true feelings for her roommate Ben, only to forget on Sunday mornings. Will Rey ever be able to confess her feelings when sober?
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 22
Kudos: 283





	just say you love me

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a fun, fluffy little oneshot idea I had last night, and I couldn't focus on anything else until I wrote it down! I hope you enjoy the story, and it would mean a lot to me if you left kudos and a comment if you like it <3

Rey and Ben have been roommates for a year, and good friends since they were freshmen at Naboo University. Now seniors, they have stressful, busy schedules and don’t see each other much — except for Saturday nights.

Rey goes out to bars or house parties with her friends to blow off steam. She always invites Ben, but he declines; his idea of a relaxing Saturday night involves being curled up on the couch with a favorite movie or a good book. 

But he always waits up for her. Because of the things she tells him when she’s drunk. Things she always forgets the next morning. And it hurts him to know that these are only drunken words that she doesn’t mean, but he can’t stop himself from waiting up to hear them.

“Ben-a-min,” she slurs as she stumbles into their apartment. “You so _handsome_.” She giggles.

“Let’s get you some water, sweetheart,” he says quietly as he goes to the sink and fills up a glass for her. “Here.”

She takes the cup from him and spills some water on her dress as she attempts to take a sip. “Takes such goo’ care o’ me. Ben Solo. Wanna kisssss you,” she tells him, leaning forward and puckering up her lips.

He pulls back, chuckling slightly. “You always tell me that when you’re drunk. And you always forget in the morning.”

Rey frowns. “Ben doesn’t wanna kiss me.”

“Now, I didn’t say that, sweetheart,” he says softly. “I want nothing more than to kiss you. But not now. Not like this. If you want to kiss me when you’re sober and actually know what you’re saying, then of course I’ll kiss you. I’d kiss you in a heartbeat. I think about kissing you all the time. Always have. But I don’t think you actually want to kiss me, or you would say so when you’re sober.”

Rey shakes her head. “Not truuue, Ben-a-min. Wanna kiss you too. Think about your soft, full lips all the time.” She giggles. “Think about them _everywhere._ Bet you’re goo’ at eatin’ pussy, Ben Solo.”

He turns bright red at this. “Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart.”

“Yessss, let’s go to bed, Ben-a-min,” she slurs with a grin.

“No, not like that. You need to go to your bed alone and go to sleep. But finish your water first.”

She frowns. “Fine.”

“Oh, and one more thing,” he pulls a package of makeup wipes out of his back pocket. “You always complain that you have zits the next morning when you get so drunk you forget to take your makeup off. So use these, too.”

She smiles and takes the packet, clumsily removing a wipe and rubbing it on her eyelid. “Takes such good care o’ me. Would be good boyfriend.”

He smiles sadly. “I’m glad you think so,” he says quietly.

“Do think so,” she replies as she haphazardly rubs the makeup wipe across her face, effectively smearing her mascara and lipstick everywhere but not really getting the makeup off. 

  
Ben chuckles. “Here,” he says softly. He takes out another makeup wipe and very gently wipes her makeup off. She closes her eyes and sighs contentedly.

“Than’ you, Ben-a-min. Love you.”

“I love you, too,” he replies in a soft, sad voice. “I wish you really meant that.”

“I _dooooo_. Love you so much. My Ben.”

“You need to go to sleep.”

She pouts. “Fiiiiiine.”

Ben chuckles. “You’re very cute when you’re drunk, you know that?”

“You’re very cute _allwayyysss,_ you know that?” 

“Drink the rest of your water.”

“Mmm, yessir,” she slurs in reply, sloppily chugging down the rest of the water.

“Come on,” he says softly, gently running his hand up and down her back. “You need to get some rest.”

She sighs. “Okaaaaay. I go to sleep now,” she says with a yawn. 

He kisses her forehead. He probably shouldn’t. But he does.

“Sweet dreams, Rey.”

“Love you.”

“Love you.”

🍷🍷🍷

Rey awakens the next morning to a pounding in her skull and a vague nausea blossoming from her stomach.

  
She groans and rolls over to check her phone. It’s already noon.

She looks down at her pillowcase and is surprised not to see streaks of mascara and lipstick. She thanks her drunk self for at least being aware enough to remember to take off her makeup for once.

She shimmies out of her little red dress and changes into her robe, and then makes her way to the kitchen. Ben is sitting there drinking black coffee and reading the Sunday paper. He’s the only person she knows who still reads a physical newspaper.

  
It’s one of many things she loves about him.

She wonders if she’ll ever have the courage to tell him that.

But to tell him would be to risk losing this, their sacred friendship. And it would mean he would eventually _leave._ Everyone always leaves. And if she ever got to kiss him or make love to him and then he left her, she would never recover. 

It’s better to keep things like this. 

“Good morning,” Ben says as he sets down his paper. “How are you feeling?”

“Awful,” she says with a groan as she pours herself a cup of coffee. 

He frowns. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

She shakes her head. “No, it’s okay, I’m just going to take some ibuprofen and drink some water and go lie down. I need to do some homework later, so hopefully if I rest a little while longer I’ll feel better enough to do it in the evening.”

“Okay. Well, let me know if you need anything.”

Sweet, thoughtful, attentive Ben. So easy to fall in love with.

She smiles. “I will. Thanks.”

🍷🍷🍷

“Ben-a-min Solo. Have I ever told you that you ‘ave very pretty eyes?”

“No, you haven’t told me that before.”

“Well. You do,” she informs him. “Could stare into them foreeeveerrr.”

“You have pretty eyes, too.”

  
She giggles, blushing. “You’re sweet. Sweet, sweet Ben. Kiss meee, pleeease.” 

“I’ll kiss you tomorrow, if you remember this and you still want to kiss me.”

Rey frowns. “No. Want kiss now. Please.”

“No, Rey. Not like this. I’m sorry.”

“Ben-a-min doesn’t wanna kiss Rey. Doesn’t like her.” She pouts.

“Now, you know that’s not true, sweetheart.”

“Ben-a-min _never_ kisses me,” she says with a huff.

“Because you’ve never asked when you’re sober.”

“I’m gonna ask tomorrow,” she insists.

“Mmm, well, you always say that, and you never do.”

“‘Cause it’s scary,” she says quietly. 

“Kissing is scary?”

“No. Loving is.”

“You’re right. It is,” he concedes. “But it’s worth it when you find the right person.”

Rey shakes her head. “People always leave. Jus’ like my parents.”

“That’s what you’re afraid of?”

“Yeah,” she admits, and then all at once a violent sob erupts from the back of her throat and tears pour down her cheeks.

  
“Oh, Rey,” he murmurs. “Come here.” He wraps his arms around her and she buries her face against his chest. He gently runs his hands up and down her back. “Shhh, shhh. It’s okay, sweetheart.”

He holds her and let’s her cry, and once she’s started to calm down he says in a voice that’s barely more than a whisper, “I wouldn’t leave you.”

Rey sniffs. “Can’t promise me that, Ben-a-min. No one can.”

“You’re the love of my life, Rey. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep. Your smile is my favorite thing in the entire world. Everyday I try to think of as many ways as possible to make you smile. You’ve lit up my life in a way that I didn’t even know was possible. And if you chose me, Rey, I would choose you, too. Every morning I would wake up and I would choose to love you, because loving you is the easiest, most natural thing I’ve ever done in my life. It wouldn’t even be a choice. It would just be as natural and easy as breathing. And I wouldn’t leave you. I know everything about you, and I’ve loved you for four years. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. I’ve never been more sure of anything.”

She sniffs again and looks up at him. “Re— ” she hiccups. “Really?”

“Yes, really. I love you, Rey.”  
  


“Lo’ you, too. Kiss me. ”

He kisses her forehead. She smiles and then yawns. He smiles adoringly at this woman he’s so hopelessly in love with.

“Let’s get you to bed, sweetheart.”

“Come with me,” she pleads, tugging his hand along. 

He shakes his head. 

She frowns. “Please?”

“You’re drunk, sweetheart, I can’t go to bed with you.”

“Nah like tha’. Jus’ come to my bed an’ hold me. Please. Ben-a-min.”

He sighs. “Okay. Just for a little while though.”  
  


“‘Til I fall ‘sleep?”

“‘Til you fall asleep.”

🍷🍷🍷

She crawls into bed and he hesitantly follows, feeling his breathing getting unsteady. Her yellow floral sheets are soft and they smell like her. He feels his heart start to race a little, and it’s hard for him to breathe. 

He never imagined he’d would ever actually be in bed with her.

With slightly shaking hands, he hesitantly wraps his arms around her, and she settles her face against his chest. 

Nothing has ever felt more natural or more right than this.

But Rey seems restless, tossing and turning against him.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“My dress. Uncomfy. Gonna take it off,” she tells him, fumbling to reach the zipper.

He swallows thickly. “Um...do you have pajamas or anything you can put on?” 

“Bein’ a gentleman. Ben-a-min. So sweet,” she mutters drunkenly. “You can get my robe, ‘s hanging from the back of my door.”

He nods and then gets up and retrieves it for her. “Er — here,” he stammers, turning around and facing the other direction while he hands it to her.

“Than’ you,” she slurs. And then a moment later she lets out a frustrated huff.

“Everything okay?”

“Can’t get the zipper. Need help.”

“Oh. Um. Okay.” He hesitantly turns around and rests his hand on her waist as he gently pulls the zipper down with a trembling hand. His breath catches in his throat at the sight of her bare, freckled skin. She’s not wearing a bra. He hates the way the thought makes his cock twitch traitorously in his sweatpants. He wishes he could kiss every inch of her soft, warm skin.

“Than’ you,” she murmurs, and he immediately turns around to give her privacy. And then a moment later, “All done. C’mere.”

He gets back into the bed and she cuddles up against him, letting out a contented sigh.

“Love this. Love you.”

Ben feels tears prickle in his eyes. Everything about this moment would be perfect if she weren’t drunk. If she actually meant what she was saying. 

“I love you too,” he whispers back. It breaks his heart to say it. “I think — I think I should go to my bed now.”

Rey clings onto his shirt. “No. Don’ leave me. You said you’d stay ‘til I fell asleep. Please.”

He draws in a shaky breath, staving off tears. “Okay, sweetheart. I won’t leave.”

She can’t see the silent tears that fall down his cheeks.

🍷🍷🍷

The next morning, Rey notices something peculiar. 

Her sheets smell like Ben’s cologne. It’s unmistakable. 

She makes her way to the kitchen, where Ben is drinking his coffee and reading the paper as usual.

  
“Ben...” she starts to say.

“Good morning, Rey. Are you feeling okay?”

“I — yeah, I’m fine. I just. Did, um...did something happen last night? Between us?”

Ben looks at her quizzically. “What do you mean?”  
  


“It’s just — I don’t know, maybe I’m imagining things, but my sheets smell like your cologne. And I know, like...I know you would never do anything to me while I was drunk, did you just come and tuck me in or something? I’m just kind of confused.”

He sets down his paper. He lets out a slow breath. “You asked me to hold you until you fell asleep,” he admits.

“Oh.”

“Does that make you uncomfortable? I’m sorry, I never should’ve done that, I never should’ve been in your bed — ”

“It’s okay, Ben. You didn’t do anything wrong,” she assures him. She makes her way over to the kitchen table and sits down beside him. She chews on her lower lip nervously. “Did I... did I say anything to you? While I was drunk?”

He shrugs. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Really? Then how did I end up asking you to hold me?”

He sighs. “Do you — do you really want to know?”

“Yes.”

“Every Saturday night for the past few months you’ve been coming home drunk and telling me...and telling me how much you love me.”

_Shit. Fuck._

“Well, I do love you, Ben, you know that — ”

“I mean, like, romantically.”

There is a heavy silence between them.

“Oh,” Rey finally says.

“It’s not a big deal. I know you were drunk. I know it doesn’t mean anything. We can just pretend it never happened and move on.”

Now she looks hurt. “Why would you think it doesn’t mean anything? Do you think I would lie about that?”

“No — I didn’t — I didn’t mean to suggest you were lying, just that people say things that don’t mean all the time when they’re drunk — ”

A quizzical expression crosses her face. “Do you — do you want me to not mean it?”

“No, of course not, I just mean, it’s not a big deal if you didn’t mean it.”

It scares her to death, but he already knows. She’s already told him God knows how many times now. And it will probably keep happening. So if he doesn’t actually feel the same way, it’s better to know now. So she can get over this crush and they can preserve their friendship, if it’s even salvageable. But she needs him to know. She hates that she thinks for one minute she didn’t mean what she said to him.

“Ben,” she says seriously. “I did mean it. I — I love you. So much. I always have.”

“Rey,” he breathes out, and a fraction of a second later his lips are on hers, those lips she had dreamed about so many times. And finally tasting his kiss is better than anything she could ever imagine, and she never wants to stop drinking him in. “I love you too. I love you so much, sweetheart. You have no idea.”

He presses his lips to hers again, and she brushes the tip of her tongue along his lower lip and he opens his mouth for her, and when he licks into her mouth she wonders how she survived so long without his kisses.

_I want you. I need you._

_I need you too. More than I’ve ever needed anything._

She entwines their hands and takes them to her bed.

  
  


🍷🍷🍷

  
  


She takes her robe off for him, and the sight of her laid bare is more beautiful than anything he ever could have imagined.

He finds her wet and wanting when his fingertips skim her folds, and the way she moans and whines for him is a sweet symphony in his ears.

When he tastes her it is a divine revelation.

She’s never been more beautiful than she is when she comes for him.

And when he is finally inside of her, it is miraculous, _she_ is miraculous. There are desperate _I-love-you’s_ whispered between hungry, open-mouthed kisses. His lips find her jaw, her neck, her pebbled nipples.

He never quite understood what people meant by _making love_ until he was making love to Rey. His hands explore every inch of her skin. He loves learning all the ways he can make the sweetest sounds pour forth from her pretty pink lips. He loves the way she holds his gaze as she thrusts into her, whimpering his name again and again like it’s some kind of holy prayer.

She comes on his cock and the feeling of her coming undone around him pushes him over the edge.

And then there is the after, the part where he gets to hold her, and that might be his favorite part. 

He thought he would never get to hold her again, never get to feel her heartbeat against his chest, or hear the soothing sounds of her breathing in and out as he rubs gentle circles on her back.

“Did I tell you how scared I was? When I was drunk?”

“Yes,” he admits. “And I wish you remembered what I said to you after.”

“What was that?” she murmurs, tracing patterns on his chest with her fingertips.

“I wish I could remember exactly what I said. But I just need you to know you’re the love of my life, and loving you is as natural to me as breathing. You’re it for me, Rey. You’re the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I know that you’re scared because your parents abandoned you, and I know it’s hard for you to believe, but I know you better than anyone else; you’re my best friend, and I love you, and I’m not going to leave you. You’re the person I choose. And I’m going to keep choosing you every day for the rest of my life, because I love you, and even when it gets hard, you’re always going to be the person I want to fall asleep with every night and wake up to every morning.”

He can feel her tears against his chest, hear her small sniffles.

“Rey? Sweetheart? Did I say something wrong?”

She sits up, shaking her head and wiping her tears. “No, nothing’s wrong at all. I just — I love you so much, Ben Solo, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. Even if I’m scared. It doesn’t matter. Because I love you. And I trust you. And you’re the person I want to fall asleep with every night and wake up to every morning, too.”

When he kisses her again, it feels like they’re sealing a sacred promise that they’re never going to break. 

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi to me on [Twitter!](http://twitter.com/darthswift13) :)


End file.
